Greg and Shelly welcome you to the show and take care of the introductions. Later, Shelly welcomes back author and professor of philosophy, Terrance MacMullan for a brand new edition of How To DM. This week, Terrance...
Just like you, the demon lords have traditions. And this time of year, they’re starting to reflect on their loved ones and find the perfect gifts for them. (You wouldn’t have guessed they were the gift-giving type, would you?)
I, being the considerate person I am, popped on down to the Underdark where the demon lords are currently holidaying, both to pay them a visit and to get their gift recommendations. So whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the Winter Solstice, or are just trying to stay on the good side of Krampus, these great gift suggestions should help you out. Take a look at what the demon lords are hoping to give and get this holiday season.
My gift recommendation? That’s easy. Those who are nearest and dearest to me inevitably become minotaurs. It’s the greatest gift anyone could ever give: the transformation into the most amazing beast. Not sure if someone is worthy of becoming so majestic and powerful a creature? Test them by building and placing them inside a labyrinth.
Or, if you don’t have the time or cash to build a labyrinth for your loved ones, you can test their puzzle-solving ability with The Maze of Games hardcover puzzle novel, or cozy up with Labyrinth for a movie night. You know Baphomet would approve of Bowie.
I visit my friends and loved ones in their dreams, and I’m saddened when they don’t remember our shared moments. I’ll be giving everyone dream journals this year. I hope it helps them treasure the memories they have of me.
So get your friends a dream journal and hope Belaphoss stays far away from them. Of course, picking up a copy of Sword Coast Legends wouldn’t hurt either. After all, I’m kind of the hero of the game.
Aameul: Hethradiah gets cold in Abysm, so I knit him this hat when he wasn’t looking.
Hethradiah: Aameul, I’ve been knitting you a scarf when you weren’t looking!
Get crafty and make something cozy for your better half by taking up knitting. Don’t have time to knit something on your own? This official D&D map scarf will keep your loved ones warm and help them in their next campaign!
What’s better than the gift of illusion? Deceive your friends. Deceive your family. Deceive yourself!
Teach your friends some tricks—which is to say, illusions—with a book on close-up magic. It’s guaranteed to increase their Charisma. If they’ve already got the magic in them but need help remembering their spells, grab them some spellbook cards.
What would I give to those I love? Myself, of course. No one can resist me. Bring your friends to me and I shall give myself to them. Go! Bring them!
Well, then. Getting the actual Graz’zt to a friend’s home might be difficult, but you can easily gift-wrap the official collector’s edition of his miniature. Feeling artistic? Before gifting, you can put the figure together and paint it to make it your own!
I MAKE JELLIES. FRIENDS LIKE CHIPOTLE JELLY BEST.
You heard Juiblex. Learn the basics of making and canning homemade jelly to create an assortment of tasty treats for your friends. Take the advice of the Faceless Lord and make a hot pepper jelly, or go for a Juiblex “look” with some mint jelly!
Nothing says “holiday” more than the feel and smell of death around you. I create statues from the dead and keep them around my lair to make the place a bit more cheery. You like?
What Orcus does can politely be called “taxidermy.” But if you’re not as crafty as the Prince of Undeath, you can purchase some jaunty death-statues on the Internet. Because why not? The Evolution Store has items for all of your skeletal and mounted-specimen needs. Or, if dead things make you squeamish, you can decorate with some miniatures of your favorite demons.
I want a new layer to my armor. I like shields and skins. You have nice skin. Can I have your skin? I will take your skin.
Although wearing humanoid skin is frowned upon, you can outfit yourself or a friend with some nice cotton goods instead. WeLoveFine has a number of terrific D&D options!
I’m personally always looking for a few new hosts for my fungi. Any log or decomposing humanoid will do, really. I’m not picky.
Create some mushroomy minions of your own with a shiitake mushroom log. Just soak it in water and watch mushrooms grow in your own home! Zuggtmoy would approve.
Whether you go the route of your favorite demon lord or opt for more traditional gifts, may you and yours have the happiest of holidays! And don’t forget to treat yourself: you’ll be the most stylish Dungeon Master and the star of your holiday party in this beholder knit sweater.
About the Author
Tara Theoharis is the creator of The Geeky Hostess, a geek party and recipe site and brand. When she's not coming up with weird cupcake flavors and punny foods, she spends her time playing tabletop games, attending cons, and binge-watching TV.